Fear vs Reality

Most of the times we worry based on fear of losing a person/material/opportunity etc. Eventhough it's not real, we tend to live in the future and miss the wonderful moment we are in.

Imagine a beautiful sunny day with birds singing, Trees all green and lushy, and you hear a possibility of end of world the next Month. What would be the state of your mind? A realized being would still continue to make the best use of the moment enjoying the beauty around while preparing for the calamity. A normal human would start worrying and make people around worry, ignoring al the goodness around in the moment.

It's not bad to plan or think about future. It's not okay to live in the future. There is a subtlety here that makes a huge difference how one leads their life. When I first across this aspect in 2016, it made no sense at all to me. I started wondering what does it mean by living in the moment but can still plan for future. It took me few years to actually practice it and implement it.

I came across a very painful situation recently about a possibility of loss. I witnessed pain/terror when I reacted to the situation as if it already happened (by living in the future) vs the calmness and ability to respond to avoid the situation when I consciously chose to differentiate the subtleness. All I had to do was to convince my mind that it hasn't happened yet and what's out there in the current moment is all good. So, if it's all good why to go through the unpleasant feeling instead of embracing the moment. I should say, it made ton of difference.

Why do I never stick to my resolutions on don'ts?

Have you ever wondered why we always tend to stick to most of your dos but not to your donts? It recently occurred to me as why I tend to not stick to my good routine of work, exercise, meditation, cooking and family time. I tried to analyze my thought process while I setup my routine and targets for the year or week or month.
Something basic and so fundamental struck me and I was surprised to uncover it. I think I even found a simple mantra to stick to what we want to do - don't think, just do. Once we give the power to our logical brain, 100 thoughts come as why we shouldn't be doing it. Therefore, just think and make the decision once (in a week or a month or a year) and DO it. Don't think about it again and again in between for several reasons - one to save your thought power for something else and two to avoid changing the target too often which leads to demotivation.

Since we are on topic, I always believe staying organized with a fixed protocol helps to be efficient and helps me do more of other things as well. This doesn't mean you need to follow some boring routine - it just means schedule a frequency at which you want to change the protocol or routine. That way you doesn't have to reinvent the wheel on every small thing where it's not required and instead focus on the things that matters to you the most.

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Happiness is in our hands

Have you ever thought if it's only you who can make yourself happy and not others? If you don't agree, try the following exercise. I am sure you will change your mind after that. If not now, atleast after a few trials.

First let's try to define happiness in my own words. A pleasant feeling where your body, mind and heart are in tune with what going on around.  If there is a conflict between any of these I don't believe it's possible for one to be happy.

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Misunderstandings

We humans fight, hate, and can't withstand other humans when we have unpleasant feelings with each other. When such things are done I feel that it's a clear indication that such people think life is permanent.
Is that true? Is life permanent? What happens if someone disappears the very next minute you hate them? Will you be happy about it or blame yourself throughout your life? I am mostly certain, one will do the later. If you fought or hated for your happiness, at the end looks like you are hurting yourselves with the blame. Is that what you wanted to do for yourselves in the first place? If not, then why to hate? Sadhguru wonderfully described how compassion can solve problems with ease: https://isha.sadhguru.org/us/en/wisdom/article/defeat-thief-zen-story

Death is so powerful in uniting even long time enemies. When one can reunite or wish to reunite after losing someone, why don't you have the courage to do so when they are alive? Atleast that way you will not emotionally hurt yourself later by blaming yourself or by feeling guilty. Always treat others as if you are not going to have the opportunity to meet them again.

On other hand, hatred is a pure result of ones perception. If you perceive others deeds with no expectations, there is no negative emotion possible here. Whatever is the deed and however it is performed, we tend to appreciate it. Only when expects it to be done in a certain way does the whole picture dissatisfaction, difference of opinions come into the picture complicating the process.

Is this real?

Lately I have been thinking that whatever I am doing now is not permanent. I feel I am doing these just for now and that I have some other plans going forward. But frankly I don't know what those plans are and I never even thought about them. In reality, I am not even sure if "other plans going forward" is even real or if I am just thinking that way to escape from the current reality.

Right or Wrong

I have unexplainable gratitude towards my parents for the selfless sacrifices they made during the course of life while raising us. I don't know even a single instance where they were selfish to do something for themselves keeping us aside. In this process they totally got lost in serving us and others and didn't develop any interest that can keep them happy. After my brother, my sister and myself moved out of house for higher studies and jobs, they still seem to be continuing the same life style. We siblings severely failed in convincing them to travel or go around and have some good time. As far I know, mom and dad are not much inclined towards traveling. They know most of the things that could make us happy but unfortunately we don't know even a single thing that could make them happy besides us staying happy making them happy which is again for us but not for themselves. There were times I argued with them to convince them stop worrying about saving for us and to focus on their retirement life and to have a good time with no worries. And everytime I discussed such topics I sensed that they were left with hurt feelings. Not sure if it is right or wrong to argue with them while stressing on how important it is for mom and dad to think of themselves for their wellbeing. I seriously wish mom and dad have a peaceful and happy life going forward and do things for their inner well being.   I am definitely not talking about materialistic things here, it's things that will make their inner soul happy and calm. If it is the materialistic things that will make them happy, then certainly I wish they discuss with us so that we can do our best to fulfill them for them.

Purpose of life

One question always lingers in my mind as what is the purpose of our life. When I imagine that if I stay still watching everything that's happening around me, it doesn't make sense as why we are running behind things. Just a moment after we pass away, all the monetory things or achievements or relationships doesn't matter. That moment when I think about these, nothing worries me and I feel a sense of relief. I wish there is some sort of clarity for what matters after leaving our body.